A True Leader
A true leader doesn't gain power by tearing down opposition. Instead, they put forward a vision and offer paths to achieve it. Today, more than ever, we need leaders who can unite us in common purpose.
Take, for example, the divisive abortion debate. Rather than framing the issue as a battle between right and wrong, we could ask ourselves: What are the core needs on both sides, and how can we find solutions that address them? When we look through the lens of basic needs, the conflict transforms.
On one side, there's a need to protect life, including that of unborn infants. Many of us can understand this, even if we don’t share the same perspective. Imagine expanding this idea further—to protecting all life: human, animal, plant, and beyond. This could become a powerful, shared goal that we work toward together.
On the other side is a woman’s need for autonomy over her own body—a fundamental need for freedom and independence that most of us deeply understand. What if we extended this idea to protect the personal sovereignty of all individuals? And further, to respect the autonomy of all life forms, each existing in its own way?
When we understand each other’s core needs, we realize we're not so different. Instead of demonizing one another, we can work collaboratively to find solutions that meet our shared values. The challenge becomes: How can we protect the life of an unborn infant while also honoring the autonomy of the mother?
While I don’t claim to have a magic solution, I believe finding one requires time, dialogue, skilled communication, and strong leadership. Demonizing the other side only deepens the divide and ensures no one’s needs are fully met. The real tragedy is that, in our righteous anger, we perpetuate a conflict that has lasted over half a century—furthering division and undermining the well-being of our society.
Effective Leadership
An effective leader listens to both sides, acknowledges their emotions and needs, and helps craft solutions we can all live with. A true leader points out common interests, which are starting points for collaboration. For example, both sides may agree that reducing unwanted pregnancies is desirable. Both sides may also agree that abortion is not the ideal method of birth control.
With this common ground, we could direct our energy toward creative solutions. We could promote alternatives like adoption and make it more accessible. We could educate about responsible sex, make birth control methods widely available, and offer compassionate, non-judgmental resources to those in need.
Changing Social Norms
I believe abortion is traumatic for the woman involved and possibly for her partner. It leaves emotional as well as physical scars. Isn’t it better, then, to prevent unwanted pregnancies in the first place? However, simply suggesting a return to pre-marital abstinence is unrealistic and unhelpful.
Social norms evolve. Just a few hundred years ago, arranged marriages were the norm in European society. Today, the idea that parents should arrange a marriage is nearly unthinkable in many parts of the world. Similarly, the expectation of no sex before marriage has changed dramatically in a relatively short period. And once a cultural norm shifts, we cannot simply go back.
I believe our energy is best spent finding creative ways to meet our needs in the world we live in now. Holding onto power struggles over who’s right and who’s wrong only fuels further polarization, anger, and violence.
The time for divisiveness is over. What we need now is leadership that bridges divides and enables us to work together for the common good.
Stay tuned for part three of this series "Intelligent Conflict Resolution" coming in early-November 2024.
And, in case you missed part one of the series "A Vision For Healthy Politics: Leadership That Inspires Us" you can read it here.
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