How does it work?

 

In any situation with friends, at work, or at home, when you spend time together you are bound to upset one another. This is actually a sign that the relationship is becoming less superficial and more real. A stranger’s behavior doesn’t bother you nearly as much as someone you feel close and connected to.

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This is why giving and receiving feedback is essential for healthy relationships in which everyone’s needs are met. Yet, most of us don’t know how to do this effectively. When we get emotionally charged we tend to judge each other, escalating conflict and putting distance between us. When we feel threatened, most of us default to our primal fight or flight instincts, which undermines trust and safety in our closest relationships.

 

Conscious Communication Skills interrupt your instinctual responses, enabling you to get your basic needs met while connecting authentically with another person. Practicing them can 'reset' your conditioned reactions, create space for empathy and understanding, and keep your focus on actual needs instead of imagined fears. Applying these skills improves relationships, restores connections, and erodes misunderstandings.

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These skills work, however they are not magic. Using them effectively takes intention, effort, and discipline. The process is easy to learn, but difficult to apply because it challenges your basic assumptions and makes you think outside the box. Once you make this shift, however, it can change your life.

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To learn to use these relationship tools effectively usually requires the guidance of a teacher who can show you how to apply them to your personal issues. An intensive small-group workshop gives you an opportunity to discuss specific situations, watch demonstrations, and practice the skills for yourself in role-play scenarios.  Conscious Communication skills are taught by Miles in interactive online course formats, and at Sky Meadow, in small group retreats ranging from 10 to 16 people.​

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In these workshops, participants learn and practice:

 

• Listening without judgment

 

• Voicing strong feelings without blame or attack

 

• Establishing healthy boundaries that enable mutual respect

 

• Caring for yourself while also caring about another person

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Together participants explore the roots of common communication habits and learn to evaluate how well these are working.  Experiential exercises help to change the way you think about relationships. From this new perspective, you learn how to communicate your ideas, feelings, and needs honestly without attacking or blaming others, and listen to others without judgment or evaluation.

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While you will be encouraged to practice these skills in role-plays using real scenarios from your life, you will not be pressured to reveal more than is comfortable for you. For everyone's safety, all sessions are confidential and will not delve too deeply into personal issues or conflicts between people in the workshop. That type of processing is better suited for private sessions.

 

Miles has studied and practiced Conscious Communication and Conflict Resolution skills since 1978, and taught since 1990. He is passionate about viewing conflict as a means to deepen relationships, rather than allowing it to distance us from each other. His teaching emphasizes practical skills for re-orienting yourself from a competitive mind-set to a cooperative one.